i already hear my dad disowning me
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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