I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize