I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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