you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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