We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Randomize
