these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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