no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
