ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize