She announced her abortion via fbk
There was a lot of him and a little penis
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
whose parrot is this?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize