i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
