Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I wish i was in the wii world.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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