I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
PANTIES FOUND
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