then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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