I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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