I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I came so hard my ears popped.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
