She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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