Nicole vs. Life
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
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