He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
