He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
