2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I look better un-naked...
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
