@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
