i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
