I bet he comes in French.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize