my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
