Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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