South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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