Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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