No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize