i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
