we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
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