i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
So many bounce houses so little time
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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