I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
He is an equal opportunity slut.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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