Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
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