Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
