Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
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