I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
