i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
