on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
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