After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
