Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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