If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
