ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
