i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
