I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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