Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
