we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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