You're so nebulous sometimes
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
If I had your ass I would rule the world
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
