we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize