he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
