she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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