You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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