Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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