I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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