whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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