Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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