well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
