Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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