Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize