I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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