Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
