She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
