my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
