It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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