batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
