im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Help me help you realize you are a moron
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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