Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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