I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize