We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
