i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
