I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
