Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
