If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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