I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
