I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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