I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
