literally had 100 drinks last night.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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