The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
